New Jersey is going through the struggle of debating and deciding whether to give adoptees rights to their birth information, or to continue to let things lie as they are. The New Jersey State Senate passed an adoptees’ rights bill in in March. Now it’s up to the House. It’s a tough one. I happen to favor allowing the adoptees access to their birth information and let the chips fall where they may. We live in high-tech world today, where that information can even save lives. There are more valid reasons today to obtain that information, as opposed to 50 years ago when doing so may have been for purely genealogical purposes. Now don’t get me wrong – genealogy and heritage are a darned good reasons, but we’ve come beyond even that today.
However, if adoptees’ rights are give to the children of parents who desperately do not want contact, then the whole issue can get very sticky. Just a few days ago I blogged about a family that had a very difficult time when the birth son showed up.
The following teaser is from an article by Rutgers University faculty member Linda Stamato, published in the April 11, 2009 edition of NJ.com. The illustration is page one of the adoption order for my mother and uncle. To this day, I cannot get a copy of her “real” 1911 birth certificate from the State of Colorado. The adoption order was found in the papers of an aunt, at her death. The original from which this copy was made disappeared when my Uncle Merle decided to disappear himself.
A clash of rights can create a no-man’s land for advocates. The battle raging over the “rights” of adoptees to their identities, medical
information and, potentially, access to their birth parent(s) and the “rights” of birth parents to remain anonymous is a wrenching illustration.
Eight states have resolved the issue in favor of allowing access; New Jersey and nine other states are weighing whether to do the same. Legislation to give adult adoptees access to their original birth records has been around New Jersey for 29 years in one form or another, the latest iteration having passed the NJ State Senate by a vote of 31 to 7 in March. If the Assembly doesn’t act on it before the end of January the measure dies.
As it is now, a court order is required to open sealed adoption records in New Jersey and in forty-two other states. As one would expect, there are reasons to shield information but those generally offered–that adoptions will be less likely; abortions will increase; people will be harassed–have not been borne out in states that have opened birth records to adoptees. In most cases, adoptees and their birth mothers — and birth fathers — welcome contact. (See blog, “Seeking true identities” and commentary at New Jersey voices).
Read the full article entitled: “A battle for rights: Adoptees, birth parents and the law.”
I am one of those adoptess, And I think we should have the right to find our parents. We didn’t ask to be given up, so I think we should have the right to find them. I don’t hate them for giving me up. I don’t know what went on back then. I was adopted when I was a baby. I had great parents, and a great brother. My adopted mom died when I was 12. I felt so alone. I loved her very much.
But still, inside I always wanted to know my real mom. I have two sons that I wish could meet her too. Maybe one day.
I was adopted in 1953 from Catholic Charities in New Jersey – both adopted parents are now deceased. I found my birth mom living in Florida and found out she had 8 kids after me. She will not have contact with me after endless letters. I would like to know maybe other family members, medical history, and family background. I feel like a lost soul in this big world. Please open the records. At least I could search family history.
I was adopted in or around 1961 I’m having medical problems. so finding my real parents is very necessary to help determine the treatment need to help me. I know my real mother’s name but not her last and know nothing of my real father. Not even sure of my brith date.
I was born Anthony James LoMonaco in N.J. in June of 1966. What I know is I have all most every Right everyone else has except the 1 that means the most to most people. I don’t know who I am. And my kids don’t know who they are either. It really is a huge void I hope some day I can fill. I’m not looking for a relationship, just who am I.